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On making a good impression
Posted by: Erik Torkells, Editor in Chief, Thursday, May 31, 2007, 9:36 AM

Last year we ran a story called "Are You the Ugly American?"--about ways not to accidentally insult the locals when you go abroad--that ticked off some readers and pleased others. And last Sunday, The New York Times ran a kinda d-u-m story on the topic (but without the advice). But no one, to my mind, has captured the essence of being a thoughtful traveler the way a NYT reader, D.Y. Milch, of Stony Brook, N.Y., did on today's NYT letters page. "All people make for poor tourists who go to visit things and not other people." Well said.

Reader Comments

This reminds me of a group I led to England a few years ago. As we ate one of our last dinners in our hotel, one of my travelers, an American man in his fifties, said "why can't this food be more like American food?" I smiled at him nicely and said "Most people who prefer American food just never leave home to begin with, so why did you come? " He actually chewed this over for a few seconds and said, "You're right -- that's why I came in the first place, to see how other people lived and ate. When I get home, I can have all the burgers I want, so for now, I'll clean my plate" We all laughed and finished our very nice, but different, dinner.

Posted By elizabeth H on June 4, 2007, 10:52 AM

I clicked on the link ("some readers") and was interested to read the diversity of letters on this subject. I guess I missed them first time around!
I often read letters or articles that seem to show some insensitivity on the part of the writer, here are some examples: a recent letter to Budget Travel magazine by a lady travelling in Venice who found the price of her drink of hot chocolate to be too high for her liking, which made her want to steal the silverware. She perhaps does not understand that waiters in Europe are paid a living wage, on which a man can support his family, and that eating out is still a bit of a luxury, hence the higher prices. Or another one (this was on "Trip Advisor.com") where someone complained that a certain hotel in Cancun would not let you take their food out of the restaurant. That person needs to know that "to go" boxes are, as far as I know, a uniquely American device. By the way, I have lived in the USA for 13 years, having previously lived for over 20 years in England, where I grew up, and in Spain, where I got married and worked. I have travelled extensively in Europe and latin America. Thanks!

Posted By Juliet on June 4, 2007, 7:40 PM

I organized and conducted group trips for over 20 years, always trying to keep people from being "Ugly Americans". One lady insisted on her iced tea in France and England, complained loudly when it wasn't available, and made them bring her hot tea and ice everywhere we went, embarrassing the whole group.Group members finally threatened her with bodily harm until she stopped.
With student groups, I forbade them to say "yuck" or any variation of it...just quietly put the food aside if they didn't like it. They were also forbidden to say "That's stupid!" when learning about other people's way of doing things. Just because you don't do it that way doesn't mean it's wrong. Every traveler should familiarize him or herself with local greetings and customs before going. Believe it or not, you may be the only person from this country that some people have met--and your country will be judged on your behavior.

Posted By Ann Simanton on July 16, 2007, 2:05 PM

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