While I haven't broken up with a boyfriend while traveling, I have broken up with friends.

This past November I went to Italy, Venice and Florence, for a week with a group of 5 friends. Two friends from out of state who met up with us in Venice, two coworkers, and another social friend.

I should have seen the huge red flag months in advance. As soon as we booked the trip, one of the first things I did was to download an Italian for travelers CD and burn copies for everyone. Two days after giving everyone their CDs, my coworkers come up to me and announce that they wouldn't need the CD's since they'd be with me the entire time. They weren't even willing to learn basic common courtesies.

Once we arrived in Italy, the same two coworkers turned into the quintessential Ugly American Tourists - complaining about everything. It was too cold - again since they had never traveled internationally before I tried to help them prepare by telling them what the weather forecasts were and offering suggestions on how to pack for optimal warmth and style while still packing lightly. They both had bags that exceeded the airline weight limits and in turn, complained about having to pay extra and having to haul the bags over the bridges in Venice.
They complained about the food, that it wasn't good enough and not what they expected. I finally asked them what they were expecting considering that they'd never been to Italy before. They expected Macaroni Grill and The Olive Garden.
They complained that the remaining four of us were too slow. We liked to wander from one site to the next, seeing what there was to discover and taking in the locals. They're very Type A and sprinted between the sites.
Remember how they refused to listen to the Italian CD's I'd burned for them? They then complained that not enough people spoke english.

There was never a huge blow up argument, just lots of tension, discomfort, and barbs being thrown.
I've yet to have a full conversation with either one since returning to work 2 months ago, and the tension and comfort is still there. Its more subdued than while we were in Italy, but still there.
That trip taught me a huge lesson on choosing travel partners.

Posted By Vanessa on January 17, 2008, 12:04 AM

My boyfriend and I broke up 10 months ago on our Spring break trip to Las Vegas. What happened that evening was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
That evening after dinner, we decided to go fill up our gas tank and take in the lights on the Strip. Like most men, my boyfriend is very much into the electronic gadgets. So to find a gas station he needs to turn on his navigation system to look for one, even though we know which station we are going to and where it is located. For some reason that evening, his gadget couldn't find the station we wanted to go to, and kept telling him to make a U-turn which would take us away from the gas station. He knew "she" was wrong but wouldn't admit it. When I started telling him to just drive down the street, and "in about a mile, we will be there", he got upset saying "I don't know of any gas station down that way", even though we always go to that station to fill up when we're in Vegas. He got upset, I got upset, we got into a big argument because he prefers to listen to that "automated female voice" instead of listening to me. And to tell you the truth, at times, I just want to shut "that woman" up.
When we got to the gas station, I got out of the car, started to walk back to the hotel which is about a couple miles away, in the middle of the night. It took me about an hour and a half. We never said another word to each other except for "I am ready to go home". And that was the last time we talked to each other, the last time we were together.

Posted By Huong Bush on January 17, 2008, 1:23 PM

I had suprised my "afraid to fly" boyfriend with tickets to Ireland on Valentines day two years ago. He had flown before but not recently and I knew he'd be hesitant, so I just booked the flight to suprise him. Well let's just say he was less than ecstatic about the tickets. He had never gone overseas before, and was not prepared for all the security and customs I thought, because he was confused and very discombobulated the entire time. So while going through a security checkpoint, I had given him my jacket to hold so I could organize our bags. Then while at the following checkpoint, I had realized that he had left my jacket with our passports and tickets on the conveyor belt! I lost it and started crying, thinking we werent' going to even make it there. But with a little pleading to get back through, we finally found my jacket. He was a trooper on the plane and made the flight with some mini cocktails on board. Then later once in Ireland I realized why he was so scatterbrained going through the security gates. He was carrying my engagement ring with him the entire time and didn't want me to see. He proposed in Galway and we are getting married this April.

Posted By Bethany on January 21, 2008, 9:43 AM

It was 1995 and my first trip to Europe. My boyfriend had lived in West Germany for 4 years and we were returning to visit his friends and do some sightseeing(or so I thought). I knew some very basic German phrases but had been reassured that most Germans knew English. Our first night there, we went to a birthday party for one of his friends. He was the only person I knew and kept abandoning me and very few people there spoke English (or at least, would acknowledge they knew English). All I saw that week were the inside of the pubs and Keith enjoying tales from past escapades with these friends( all the while speaking German). We moved on to another city and another group of friends, one of whom was a Brit. We went to dinner at an Indian restaurant and Keith had his friend order for everyone. He ordered all the food extra hot. I could not eat anything except the rice. The bill came to $350 (of which I was expected to pay half.) We then proceeded to bar hop until 5 am. I stopped drinking about 1 am while they all proceeded to get sloshed. The next night his friend suggested that just the guys go out, leaving me at home with his wife, who excused herself to her room to read all evening and then retiring at 9 pm. The boys arrived back very early the next morning. They then went to a country pub down the road where they continued drinking grappe until they passed out. I saw very little of Germany, visited one castle. Not at all what I expected my trip to be. Never saw any art work, museum or anything except the pubs. They stayed drunk all the time and reminesced. I was forgotten except for paying for half of the expenses. He was even drunk enroute to the airport. I should have known when the airline stewardess on the flight over cut him off on the plane because he was so loud and boisterous. All was not lost, we did go to the Black Forest and spent a week independently in Italy where we were both tourists and had a delightful time. But the 2 weeks spent with him and his friends in Germany were spent mostly in the pub drinking when what I really craved was some culture. Of course, I should have remembered that ancient Romans considered the Germanic people barbarians. We did not break up right after that trip, but I never returned to Europe with him.

Posted By Sarah, Michigan on January 21, 2008, 10:20 AM

My friend and I travelled to Brussels, Belgium.. one of many cities we visited during this trip.
I had planned the trip carefully along with the hotels and train route.. he had no interest in where we were going or how we were getting there. But I had thought that as we progressed on our travels he would enjoy the sites and perhaps even get with the swing of things. However, the worst stop proved to be Brussels. We had checked into a 5-star hotel, old and wonderfully interesting, adjacent to a large pedestrian shopping street, which I was anxious to explore. Upon entering our (suite) room my companion immediately went to the "living room and turned on the tv. I was delighted to peek at every little crevice in the room, enjoy the large spa bath and after a nice long relaxing bath I put on my robe and came out to find my "companion" still joined at the hip to the remote control. After several subtle coments about joining me or perhaps both of us dress and go out to see the sites, he made it clear that he was determined to finish his movie... It turned out to be a John Wayne 1942 movie AND not even in English. This was the final moment that ended our stay in Brussels. I dressed, went down to the desk and checked us out. After the movie I suggested that if he wanted to shower or bathe that perhaps he had better do it because we were leaving Brussels.
Everytime I see a John Wayne movie aftertised on late night TV I think of my "friend" and wonder where he sits staring blankly at some screen while the world goes by.

Posted By Nancy on January 21, 2008, 10:30 AM

I must be the cursed traveler, because not only have i had a near break up with a friend while driving cross-country, i've also broken up with a boyfriend after traveling several thousand miles (and too many hours to count) to see him while he was overseas.

it all began as one of those epic travel sagas. i had been working in NYC for a year while the rest of my friends finished up college. i was miserable and hated my job and looking for a change. over one too many beers on memorial day weekend, my recently graduated friend and i made a pact to do some traveling that summer. i told her i'd always wanted to drive cross-country, she was in the process of finalizing plans to visit her sister in spain and i asked if i could tag along. our barstool neighbors egged us on with, "come on, do it" and "you'll never regret it" (which i have to admit, they were right. that was the moment i was bitten my the travel bug and i've never looked back).

the following day i went to work, gave my two weeks notice, and THEN called kat to make sure she was serious about our plans (yes, admittedly, a little out of order). in the two weeks that followed, we poured over maps, made lists of places we'd like to visit, and who we could stay with along the way. it was to be a rush trip, because less than three weeks after our departure, we were to hop an a plane to spain to continue our traveling overseas.

from new jersey we made it all the way to the grand canyon before "the fight." to be honest with you, i can't even remember what sparked it (i think i suggested she grab a bottle of water because it was so hot out, lame reason for a fight, i know). i CAN remember thinking, oh my God, we still have at least a week stuck in the car with each other.

we made it to phoenix without speaking a word to each other, stopped to get [antoher] oil change, and miraculously, we were friends again. she blames it on "being hungry and getting grumpy," i learned my lesson to choose travel partners wisely and understand (and be sympathetic to) their idosyncracies.

several years later, i fell in love while on vacation in the islands. he was an australian sailor (LOVE the accent), the first mate on my windjammer cruise, and not often in one place for any given amount of time. we made it work for several months, meeting up in various ports, him coming up to NYC for a visit, and finally me visiting him while he was on a break visiting a friend in amsterdam. it was a last minute trip. we talked about it on a tuesday, i was ticketed by wednesday, and on a plane to see him by thursday evening.

when i arrived, everything was great. he was at the train station to meet me. he had booked a hotel room so we could have some alone time before heading back to his friend's boat. but slowly, everything turned into a fight. i was there to spend time with him, but for dan, everything was on a timetable. where did i want to go, what did i want to see, when/where/what should we eat. i was like, whoa, slow down. when i travel, i like just BEING someplace and experiencing that place. sure, i would love to go to the van gogh museum, but i don't have a checklist of things to do! i just want to hang out and experience the netherlands!! for ten days we went back and forth, him needing a plan for the day, me wanting to relax and enjoy our time together. finally, he said, maybe you should have used the money you spent on your ticket here for counseling instead. i was like EXCUSE ME?! the icing on the cake was that he found no problem attempting to be intimate after making such a proclamation.

lesson #2 learned: make sure you have similar expectations when you're traveling with someone else before you commit (i guess the same theory applies to relationships as well).

overall, while definately enjoying the company of others while traveling, i have discovered a new joy in seeing the world: being my own traveling companion. that way i can do what i want, when i want to, and not worry about ruffling someone else's feathers or waiting to find someone who wants to see the same places i want to see. i'm off to costa rica next month for a solo surfing adventure and i can't wait!

Posted By Erin on January 21, 2008, 10:34 AM

My husband and I had the "final straw" fight while at a convention in San Francisco. I left the room to cool off and he took that opportunity to pack his bags,check out of the room and get on a plane for home in Atlanta. My airplane ticket was in his pocket, the room keys were deactivated (with my belongings inside)and I had no cash on hand.
I went to the convention organizers, who took me under their wing. They got the hotel manager to let me into the room to get my belongings. They let me spend the night with one of them,fed me,drove me to the airport the next day and purchased me a plane ticket home, with the understanding I would pay them back as soon as I got there.
He was one surprised fellow when I came waltzing in the door to the house the next day with a police officer holding a warrant for his arrest(on a previous charge, since I spilled the beans on his whereabouts). My personal savings were enough to pay back the kind folks who helped me and a downpayment for a divorce lawyer.

Posted By Cathy on January 21, 2008, 11:30 AM

My husband and I visited Paris this past Thanksgiving. One of the highlights of our trip was his arranging for us to join a guided tour to dine at the Altitude 95 Restaurant in the Eiffle Tower followed by a leisurely boat ride along the River Seine. It was perfect - except for the fact that he insisted on wearing his oversized, bright blue, puffy skijacket. Considering everyone in Paris was dressed in black, he stuck out like a sore thumb. But all things considered, I could live with that.
Dinner was phenomenal and the views from the restaurant were extraordinary. It was perfect - until we left to catch the elevator back to ground level. As the entire group boarded the elevator and squeezed together to make room for us all, my husband in his huge coat was the last to fit in. I was the sole member of the group left behind on the Eiffel Tower as the doors closed and the group descended. As I watched him though the glass, I muttered under my breath, “Dang you, blue puffy coat.”

After what seemed like forever, the elevator returned and I joined him at the base. We ran across the street to the river banks to catch up with the others as they boarded the boat, but while running across the uneven bricks he stumbled and fell face down, arms and legs flailing. As angry as I was at being left behind by him on the tower, all anger was lost as I watched him literally bouncing along the banks of the River Seine in his gigantic blue, puffy coat.

Did we break up? Yea, we broke up laughing. That’s what happens after 27 years of marriage, numerous trips, and countless crazy mishaps.

Posted By Mary on January 21, 2008, 11:56 AM

I went to Las Vegas in 1998 with my boyfriend, I should of known it was a mistake when before we went he wanted to "practice" gambling since he had never been to Vegas before. So we went to a small gambling town in our area first. He blew $300 and pouted the whole time about losing. I didn't realize he was a compulsive gambler and knew I had made a mistake booking tickets to Las Vegas, but they were alrady paid for so we went. When we got there he again kept losing and told me to keep getting money from the ATM on my credit card, finally he had lost almost $500 and I cut him off, he got angry and said he was going to gamble by himself (he still had a little money left) I walked the whole strip back to the hotel, crying I never had such a bad time on a trip and just wanted to go home. He comes back to the hotel and says his wallet got stolen, but he had won a lot of money, he was so angry. But for some reason he had brought 2 ID's and had left one in the hotel, how convenient. I have no clue what he had done with his money, but I ended up paying for everything the rest of the trip. We did stay together after that, I ended up going back to Las Vegas with my best friend 2 months later and had a great time. My boyfriend and I broke up a year after that. My suggestion is to always go on a trip with someone you think you might want to marry, the real man comes out.

Posted By Tamara on January 21, 2008, 12:35 PM

years ago me and my wife were on our honeymoon.I had planned and all inclusive 12 day tip to mexico. I should of known we were in for a rough ride when i took us to the wrong airport(san fransisco) to leave. we then got in a cab doing over 100 to get to oakland airport. We made the plane with one minute to spare. Good right? wrong i had left my wifes luggage in the other airport. You can imagine that fight once we landed.no make up no clothes ouch! from there we were in our hotel and was informed our stay was up evidently the travel agent had booked the wrong days after 2 days of arguing they realized it was a mistake. The last straw was we were getting ready to leave and i thought i could get money from atm there wernt any? I had to make friends with a lady who let me borrow money to get a cab ride to the airport. I have never been so happy to be home. as my wife said "after that start to our marriage it only can get better. True to her word 15 years later we are happily married.

Posted By matt mumford on January 21, 2008, 1:10 PM

One summer my boyfriend suggested that we take a road trip from our hometown in Wisconsin to the East Coast and then loop back again. We had a few weeks off so the trip planned was to be one of leisure with no rushing. Prior to leaving we had discussed certain sites that we planned to see. While on our way and entering Washington D.C. my boyfriend became agitated with me because he had taken the wrong turn(s)and we became lost (He refused to pull over and look at a map or stop at a gas station). By the time we were in the heart of the city he was so frustrated and angry (like somehow this was my fault?. He expressed that this was the "worst trip he had ever been on and that I could get out of the car." I did get out of the car and he promptly took out my suitcase and duffel bag and drove away leaving me in downtown Washington D.C.! I was certain that he was coming back, probably just going around the block to cool off. I waited there for a little while but he didn't come back. I had never been to Washington D.C. before and was disoriented. It was awful, I couldn't believe that someone would leave their girlfriend of 3 years on the street in anoher state. I went inside the nearest hotel (fortunately for me it was right behind me, the Hotel Washington). The hotel personel were so very nice. One of the doormen came to my aid with my bags. When I asked him if there was a shuttle to the airport he said there wouldn't be one until the next morning. I told him what had happened and began to cry, just sobbing and sobbing (very embarassing to say the least). He was so kind to me. He suggested I spend the night, have supper on the top floor of the hotel so that I could see the sky line at night and head to the airport the next morning. I took his advice. As I was heading toward the elevator with my suitcase and my "Packer" duffelbag, a man held the elevator door for me and said "Anyone who is a Packer fan is a friend of mine," (corny I know, but this really happened! :) ). It made me feel slightly better. So I went to my room and later went to dinner in the hotel's dining room. The bellman was right, the skyline was really beautiful and the next day since my flight wasn't leaving until later in the afternoon I ended up walking over to the Smithsonian; which needless to say was a treat in itself.

The relationship, well that was certainly over with and I count myself lucky. Lucky that I didn't invest any more of my time with someone who would do something like that to someone. Lucky that I got to turn adversity into an adventure, and most of all I guess thankful for the people along the way who were total strangers that were so kind to me.

Posted By Stacie on January 21, 2008, 1:19 PM

My husband and I were given a trip to Hawaii as our wedding gift since we just eloped in Las Vegas. So we went to Hawaii on our first anniversary. This was our first trip together without any friends, etc. I didn't exactly plan the trip very well and my husband was driving me crazy. I went with the expectation that Hawaii is a place that you would relax and just take in the scenery. But his expectation was that on a vacation your suppose to be doing something everyday. We fought for the first couple of days over this but we eventually came to an compromise. We would do some stuff but still have time to relax. A couple of days later, we were intimate one morning in bed, and I jokingly said something to the likes of having a baby. He just went completely quiet and was really upset. He didn't talk to me for the rest of the day but he thought I was really serious and finally said that he wasn't ready to have one yet. That was fine with me, I think we were only 21 & 22 then. That was a long day though with him being very quiet and I felt really bad that we lost another day of our trip to more fighting. The next couple of days, we were fine, and had an amazing time. We came close to breaking up, but we are still together to this day and have gone on several more trips and make sure we each know our expectations before we leave. I think I got him to see my side of relaxing more on a trip and we are doing more and more of that. In the meantime, we have had the baby talk several times and it's still a few years off. It may make him sound like a jerk, but he's had a bad childhood and don't want to put our kids through that.

Posted By Ashley on January 21, 2008, 1:20 PM

Last year I took a cruise trip down to Mexico with boyfriend. He was a little seasick so he pretty much complained about everything. At first, I tried to comfort him and tried to understand. But when the complaints went on till the third day, I couldn't stand it anymore. We had a huge fight on the street in Mexico. He just left me there and turned around to go back to the ship. I was so mad that I thought I would breakup with him for sure. But then I thought we would be stuck on the ship in the same room for 2 more days. Maybe I would just wait till we get back to land to breakup with him. We didn't talk for the whole afternoon. Then before dinner, he apologized. We had a really long talk. I'm glad we worked everything out and enjoyed the rest of the trip. We are still happily together now.

Posted By Eileen on January 21, 2008, 1:20 PM

I was in a new relationship, with a man I had known for 16 years. He was a bit of an arrogant jerk when he was younger, but seemed to have changed a lot in the 6 years he had been working over in Africa. He seemed like a really nice guy now! So...I gave up Christmas with all my sisters and their kids, to go on a trip to Mexico. I speak a bit of Spanish, because one of my friends is married to a Spanish man, but only enough to JUST get by.

We were in a tiny village, where very few people spoke English, and had joined up with another couple. He was charming and had so many interesting stories, the other couple thought he was wonderful. But alone with me, he was reverting back to his know-it-all self, and taking credit for all the hard work and research I had done in planning the trip.

I got really sick of his arrogant ways, and decided it would be fun to play with him a little. He did not speak any Spanish...so he was paying attention to everything I said, and repeating it, to impress the other couple. I finally decided it would be great fun to tell him incorrect words and phrases..and let him make an ass of himself.

Needless to say, quite a few of the locals thought he was completely crazy..and the other couple eventually realised that he wasnt as perfect as they thought.

After getting home....he went for a quick few weeks to do a job back in Africa. And I never heard from him again. Which was fine with me. It meant I didn't have to waste the words to dump him!

Posted By Stacey Vos on January 21, 2008, 3:42 PM

Since my boyfriend and I live in Los Angeles, we like to take a lot of little side trips and explore all the different and exciting places that we have easy access to. About two years ago, we planned to take a trip to Sea World in San Diego because neither of us had ever been. We had planned on getting up early and leaving to beat the traffic, but when we woke up, we realized that some stupid person had parked in our driveway, completely blocking us in and delaying our trip. We called parking enforcement and it took them two hours to make it out to even look at the car and then it took another 45 minutes for the tow truck driver to arrive and another 30 minutes to get the car up on the truck. Normally, this would have just been a giant nuisance, however, since we had plans and they were now on the road to being ruined, we were very angry--not with each other (yet!), but we began the two hour trip to San Diego nonetheless.
We complained about our trip being delayed the whole way down there and it just got worse from there. You know that phrase, bad things come in threes? Well, they just kept on coming, although we really tried to shake it. We finally got into the park, totally surrounded by screaming children and proceeded to get into one of the biggest fights that we had ever gotten into!! I was told by my boyfriend that I was "yelling" at him (I wasn't!) and he stopped talking to me...then took off without me! He just walked off and didn't want to have anything else to do with me--refused to answer his phone--and then he left the park without me!!! I was fuming!!! So, I had to figure out how to get home from San Diego all by myself--and I really have no desire to ever visit Sea World again, ever.

Posted By Desiree on January 21, 2008, 5:41 PM

My boyfriend (now my husband) and I traveled to France in the late 1980's. It was our first international trip together. We had a wonderful week (free) at a Marriott in Paris. We then went to the Loire Valley, and from there to a place in the faience town of Gien. We were on our way to Beaune from there, traveling over the mountains in France, with me navigating. Well, things didn't go well with the navigating and the driving, and by the time we got to Beaune, we were no longer talking. We had booked a stay in a fabulous hotel in Beaune called Le Cep. They were known for the great service at their restaurant. So, here we are, sitting in the restaurant. 4 waiters arrive will all of our dishes, and holding the covers over the dishes, all raise them at the same time. Voila!! It was fabulous!! It is just too bad we still weren't talking too each other. What a waste! I swore that I would never see him again once we got home. But then I married him, and there you go! We have been to Europe many times since!

Posted By Joan on January 21, 2008, 9:01 PM

Oh yes.....I needed to break up with a long-time long-distance relationship and was too much of a whimp. Of course, I thought I was acting completely normally, but the day after returning from our trip to Maui - me in the US, he in London - he called and said he knew I wanted it to be over....I felt like a heel for not being more upfront. And I cannot remember a single thing about Maui from that trip!

Posted By Shelly on January 22, 2008, 1:36 PM

You know teachers, right? They want to know about everything they have to teach about. So we were headed for DC.....yes, the great capital city of America. We had only been married two years, and I had no idea that this wonderful, loving man I was committed to would not ever
ASK for directions (OH, there must be others of you out there, like me?) We started toward our exit where the hotel was located and we did not find it. We turned around and went back into the city. Not once, but twice. It was about 11:00 p.m. and we were ready for the sack. I requested asking for directions to our exit, but to no avail did this occur.
Even the city/road map did not help us out at all.

Finally after a few screams and threats, I asked to be driven to a gas station and let out of the car. This happened to be a high crime areas. My husband parked at the edge of the station, and I walked up to two very strange looking men, but being the brave woman I am, I asked for directions to our exit. I was told how to get there, and it was very simple. Needless to say, I was never thanked by anyone in my car, and after 30 years of marriage, he still won't ask for directions...
but he WILL let his wife.
Happy Traveling,
Nancy

Posted By Nancy on January 22, 2008, 4:52 PM

My wife and I, along with my niece, whom we were raising, took a package tour from Anchorage via the Alaska Railroad to Fairbanks and Denali National Park. While in Fairbanks my wife got stressed out and terribly upset about something very minor and wouldn't speak to either my niece or myself. After a day of stoney silence in Fairbanks and another day on the train to Denali I had had it. As we traveled to Denali I decided to let my wife and niece off at Denali and continue on home to Anchorage on the train by myself. As we arrived in Denali I changed my mind rather than cause a scene in the railroad station and went to the hotel with my wife and niece. At the hotel we finally sat down and talked things out, relieving the situation, and the rest of the trip worked out.

Posted By John K on January 23, 2008, 2:40 PM

One year ago, 12 hours in the Louve ( lunch inside the Louve)
All day at Amsterdam Historical Museum with a break for lunch at 4pm.
I'm still bitter.

Posted By Yvonne on January 23, 2008, 11:48 PM

The guy I was going out with for almost 2 years and my 2 sons ages 19 and 23 all went to Wash. D.C., Philly and New York. The first night I asked him where his C-Pap machine was. Ohh...he had forgot it. We were all sleeping in 1 room. The snoring was soooo bad the boys went out in the car at 2:00 in the morning in Balitmore, MD to get some sleep. I was on the bathroom floor trying to sleep. In Wash. D.C. he got his own room for the 1 night. In New York the boys and I had to buy our own room the 2nd night. After making a bed for my one son in the bathtub and I was on the bathroom floor while my youngest son was in the lobby trying to sleep. It was a diaster of a trip and I wouldn't have much to do with him as I knew he didn't really forget the C-pap machine. He was too cheap to buy us a room so we could get some sleep. He didn't pay for much and I knew I didn't want anything to do with him after this. I tried to break up with him as soon as we got back...but in a couple of months time it worked out that we broke up. The sights were good and I would like to go back on different terms!!!
And, it will be with a nicer more considerate guy!!

Posted By Sue Henifin on January 24, 2008, 6:26 PM

Shanghaied

In April, he asked if I wanted to join him on a trip to China. Thrilled and a bit scared (as we had only been dating since February and hadn’t even gone on a road trip in the United States), I said, “Yes!” and began furiously planning. As he was a teacher at a year-round middle school, he had two months vacation time to burn. He would venture out earlier and explore the nooks and crannies of southern China. I would meet him in Beijing to begin our 15-day adventure. Before he left, I obtained the visas and made him MP3 mixes to occupy him during the interminable flight from Los Angeles to Hong Kong. One was called “China Air;” the other, “Air China.”

He e-mailed every day from the internet café in the tiny backpacking village that he discovered. He described the luxurious and cheap foot massages, the delicious noodle dishes, and the farmer’s wife with no teeth who knew no English who dried his shoes by hand after he fell into a river in the middle of the night. Ten days into the trip, he called just to tell me how much he missed me and how he couldn’t wait to go exploring together.

In Beijing, we stayed for free in a 5-star hotel with a friend who worked for the U.S. government. We drank our body weight in chrysanthemum tea, discovered that an umbrella would save us from prying eyes of curious onlookers shocked by the 6’7” stature of my boyfriend, watched in awe as the Chinese acrobats contorted themselves into inhuman shapes, and drank cold beer during a 10K trek on one of the “wild” sections of the Great Wall.

After five days, we climbed onto a local “puddle jumper” and flew to Shanghai. At the airport, we fought over whether to take a bus to my friend’s gorgeous house in the suburbs of Shanghai or to wait for a taxi. In our post-disagreement stupor, I left my backpack in the taxi when the driver dropped us at the hotel across the street from my friend’s house. I made sure to grab my ex-boyfriend’s possessions, but in my haste to exit, I neglected my own. He was sympathetic but believed that the backpack contained items of little significance – merely all of the cash that I had taken out for the trip and the travel guides.

After settling into my friend’s house (another free 5-star accommodation that provided us with our own bedroom and bathroom), we ordered a pizza and discussed plans for the next couple of days. My friend and her husband graciously offered to show us around, invited us to a dinner gathering in the French section of Shanghai for the next evening, and pulled out maps to show us where to find the best tea houses and markets. As the time was pushing midnight, we all headed to our respective bedrooms. I noticed that my ex-boyfriend was unusually silent – he was a man of few words, but seemed particularly distant. As we laid in the dark and listened to the noises of night, I asked him whether anything was bothering him. He simply whispered, “I don’t think that I can do this anymore.” Stunned, I got up and went to the bathroom. Shaking and crying, I kept thinking to myself that this couldn’t possibly be happening. It was too surreal. Too much like a bad Lifetime TV movie. After I collected myself, I returned to the bedroom. He was gone. I tiptoed down the stairs avoiding the creaking floorboards to avoid waking my friend’s six-year old. Downstairs, I discovered that my ex-boyfriend was dressed, sitting on the sofa, surfing the internet – his backpack propped by the table next to him. When I asked what he was doing, he said that he was checking out a website for “couch surfers” – a place where people from around the world could invite others to stay for a night or two in their homes in exchange for the same kind of shelter when they were visiting. Regardless of his behavior or timing, I was not going to let my non-Chinese speaking ex-boyfriend wander the streets of Shanghai at 1AM. I told him that he was more than welcome to stay in the room with me and figure out his plans when daylight came. Mistaking my kindness for confusion over the status of our relationship, he looked at me and said, “I don’t love you. I don’t want to marry you. I’ve thought about dating other women since the moment we started going out.” He then proceeded to tell me that our lifestyles were very different because I clearly needed to travel as a member of the “bourgeois” – only in 5-star accommodations with ex-patriots.

I could only gape in horror as I tuned in and out of his diatribe. Bourgeois? We were crashing with my friends who opened their homes to us in China out of the goodness of their hearts. My only thought in planning the trip was to save money because he was a public school teacher with loans and roommates and not a penny to spare. Bourgeois? I had lived in Europe for a year when I graduated from college. First, I shared a tiny studio with 3 roommates and 1 bathroom in London. Then, I shared a room in a townhouse with 6 people in Dublin. I lived on an air-mattress for 4 months. My roommate and I would stack our mattresses every morning just so that we would have room to get dressed. I would wake up at 4AM to put money in the hot water heater so that the rest of the house would have hot water to take showers. Bourgeois?

The next day, he left, but the parade of horrors continued. We had already purchased our plane tickets from Shanghai to Shenzhen – another money saving venture prompted by the ex-boyfriend. We were going to walk across the border to Hong Kong. After taking the bus to Shenzhen, he watched as I struggled to haul two suitcases up four flights of stairs to the border crossing station. Twice, my suitcases fell down the stairs. He laughed and walked away.

I didn’t see him again until I left Hong Kong for the United States. We were on the same 16 hour flight from Hong Kong to Taiwan to Los Angeles. Fortunately, he had requested to sit in an exit row to accommodate his long legs. Due to his selfishness, I was spared from having to sit next to him. Exiting customs, I was greeted by my sister and brother. They could barely keep from kicking him in the knees as he walked past.

A month later, he called and attempted to “re-kindle” our romance. I politely declined.

Posted By Rachel on January 25, 2008, 9:22 PM

Five years ago my then-boyfriend and I booked a week in Belize several months in advance. I did the reservations so I put the room on my credit card. He broke up with me long before the trip and I was stuck with non-refundable reservations. I asked a well-traveled, VERY platonic male friend to go with me and split the cost. He readily agreed and we booked a flight. Two months before the trip I started dating another man, who became highly jealous of my planned trip with my friend. To alleviate any fears I introduced them, all the while giving extra attention to my new guy. My friend and I went to Belize and for the first two days it stormed. We were housebound in a one-bedroom suite. He immediately took control of the tv and the bedroom. I slept on the couch and read two books. He didn't tell me until we got to Belize that he was abstaining from drinking for one-year, so he wasn't interested in visiting any of the nightclubs or happy hours. Although he was a certified diver and brought his equipment, he refused to go dive with me on the one clear day we had. I mistakenly thought calling my new guy would reassure him. Instead, he continually accused me of "getting with" my platonic friend. Nothing could have been further from the truth! Needless to say it was the longest week of my life. All I came home with was sunburned, mosquito-bitten, tired of my "friend" and ready to relax. My new guy picked me up at the airport and, when I showed him a digital photo of a message I'd written in the sand that said "I miss you," he accused me of having written it for someone else! We didn't last long after that, and I have never traveled with my friend since.

Posted By Kelly on January 28, 2008, 8:20 PM

My girlfriend and I almost broke up during a vacation, but not by our choice. We had been dating four months, when we went to Paris. She is a French teacher and I do not speak French. I was nervous about traveling to a country that I could not speak the language. She had taught me a few phrases, but my language skills were very limited.

Our hotel was around the corner from a police station. One day my girlfriend decided that she wanted to take a picture of a police car that was parked outside of the station. She was lining up the shot when an undercover police officer approached her. He was trying to tell her something and she was refusing to listen to him. The conversation became heated with both of them yelling loudly in French and they were using a lot of arm gestures. I had no clue what they were saying, but I knew that it was not good. I tried to tell my girlfriend to just leave, but she kept arguing with the police officer.

I asked my girlfriend what was going on. She told me that the officer was trying to tell her that it was illegal to take a picture of a police car. She kept asking, "But why?" The officer kept telling her, "it just is." The officer and my girlfriend kept arguing. The officer finally reached for his handcuffs and motioned for my girlfriend to turn around.

At this point, I panicked thinking that my girlfriend is going to jail and I will have no way of knowing how to get her out. Selfishly, I am also thinking "how am I going to get back to the airport if my girlfriend is in a French prison for breaking some wierd law."

Luckily, I am also a police officer and I had my id with me. I approached the officer and asked what was going on. I showed him my police id card. He turns to me and says in perfect english, "This crazy lady wants to take a picture of a police car and I keep trying to tell her that it is illegal." I told him that the crazy lady was my girlfriend and that she WOULD NOT take a picture of the police car if we could just go on our way. He started laughing and we started talking about police work. He ended up giving us a tour of the police station. My girlfriend never did get the opportunity to photograph the police car.

My girlfriend and I survived the remainder of the trip. We have been happily married for the past six years.

Posted By Jack Bergfeld on January 29, 2008, 5:18 PM

The Smell of Love


My boyfriend Chris, and I flew to Spain for his Spring Break one year. We thought we would spend 10 days living it up on a romantic road trip through southern Spain, but what happened was entirely different!


Since our flight arrived early that morning, on a whim, we drove our rental car up to Segovia for a quick peek at their fairy tale castle before returning to Madrid to find our hostel. This turned out to be a bad idea! After only being in Spain for an entire six hours we had already collected one parking ticket and nearly lost our passenger side mirror after driving down a path I still swear was marked as a road.


By now it was late in the evening and our jet lag was making itself known. We were anxious to just find our hotel and call it an early night. Unfortunately, our night was just beginning.


You see, the week we chose just happened to be Semana Santa (Holy Week). That translates to lots of people making their annual pilgrimage to Madrid and several of the other large cities in Spain to participate in the rituals and traditions surrounding this holiday. This, in turn, wreaked havoc on our maps we had printed from online since the majority of those roads were closed for processionals, and all the other roads were now crammed with the overflow of traffic.


Trying to figure out the detours led us to several roundabouts with no definitive lanes. With the cars driving five to six cars deep in the roundabouts, Chris would panic each time and take whatever first exit he could squeeze out of without knowing where he was going. Several times we found ourselves on toll roads leading out of the city. We kept driving in circles getting trapped in roundabouts only to maneuver out onto yet another toll road.


After some testy exchanges between us, we finally drove down a toll road for a bit to a gas station... by now, not only were we running low on gas, but we were also in need of an ATM since we were running low on Euros. Who knew we would blow through so many Euros on wrong turns and toll roads. At the gas station I was able to talk to a customer that spoke great English. He gave us some modified directions that would help us get close to our hostel, but he wasn't exactly sure which hostel it was. Grabbing sodas for a quick sugar rush, we drove back in to the city, and circled around the same roundabouts again. I felt like I was trapped in a spoof of National Lampoon's European Vacation! I've never wanted to fling myself from a moving car so bad!!! At this point I was in tears and seconds away from strangling someone. I kept asking if we could just pull into the first hotel/hostel we see and get a room. I didn't care what the cost was at that point. Chris wouldn't hear of it, he was determined to stay at the hostel he had booked. Besides, have you ever tried to find a hotel while driving in Europe? They aren't as easy to find!


Chris was now equally as frustrated with the evening, and was able to find a spot to put our car. We gave up on the whole driving business and decided to walk the rest of the way. We didn't say a word to each other other than hoping our rental would get towed so we wouldn't have to relive that nightmare.


We finally arrived at the building we thought was our hostel, but since it was well past 11pm we had to ring the night bell. We weren't even sure if we had the right place so a battle of "you do it, no, you do it" broke out. We swore we couldn't stand each other and would never have anything to do with each other once we were back in the USA. We finally made it to our rooms and passed out from the exhaustion and stress.


It took a couple of days in Madrid for us to cool off. By the time we had reclaimed our car and began the drive south to Grenada (at this point, we knew exactly how to get out of the city far too well), the beautiful smell of springtime in Spain quickly began to melt our hearts. We found ourselves falling in love all over again... but only to be met with more processionals and road blockades that nearly derailed our relationship in Sevilla and Cordoba. We soon learned Holy Week is not the time for sightseeing. Most places close down out of respect and several roads are closed for the religious parades.


Don't get me wrong, springtime in southern Spain with its smell of love floating through the air (thanks to all those flowers and oranges growing everywhere) should not be missed! Just make sure your relationship is strong enough to handle the chaos and frustration of being lost several times in a foreign country. Thankfully, we were able to salvage things and have been married just over a year.

Posted By Marissa on February 1, 2008, 10:53 PM

I went camping on the beach last year with my fiancee of 4 years. He had been a real wanker all weekend, bossing me around and putting me down, I was getting really pissed off with him. There was a large group of us and on our final night there we all got stuck into the remaining stores of alcohol. As some people started retiring to their tents my fiancee "told me" I was too drunk and it was time for me to go to bed. After the weekend being told what to do and having that bit of dutch courage, I told him I wasn't ready to go to bed and that at 27years old I could make my own decisions. So he stormed off and went to bed by himself. A while later he came back out and again told me i had to go to bed. I told him i would go to bed when i was ready. He told me if that's how I felt then stuff me and he took my engagement ring off my finger! I was so angry at him but at the same time felt a bit relieved. I proceeded to party well into the night and while sitting around the camp fire later I kissed one of the other guys whom I had only recently just met. Needless to say I told my ex-fiancee in the morning that he could keep his ring and sat in awkward silence for the 3 hour drive home the next day. I did go on a date with the guy I had kissed that night but nothing happened. Breaking up with my ex was the best that has ever happened to me, I wish I had done it myself sooner, but I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" and if it hadn't worked out the way that it did I wouldn't be with my current boyfriend - who although it's only been 6 months, may be my soul mate!

Posted By b on February 4, 2008, 11:26 PM

My first husband and I almost broke up on a trip to Niagara Falls. We had only been married for a short time but had been having problems from the beginning (e.g financial, adjusting to not being single, etc.). I was actually his 3rd wife (which should have been the tip-off) but we had been friends for 17 years when we married so we thought that we had a chance. After recognizing that we were in trouble, we decided to go away for a weekend to see if we could rekindle some of the spark.

We drove to New York state and into Canada from Ohio (3 ½ hours) and the trip out was good. Because we had been friends for so long, we were always able to talk and had a fun time reminiscing and singing. Something happened once we crossed over into Canada that seemed almost as if we had driven through some science fiction fog or something. From the moment that we got into the state, he began complaining about things – the weather (it was March and somewhat cold), the traffic, etc. I had picked a very nice hotel that was near the falls and had all of the amenities. He complained about the room, the pool, the food in the restaurant next door and everything. I kept trying to keep the peace and get things back on an even keel so that we could enjoy the weekend. Everywhere we went, we had a small argument about something or another. In the gift shop after the tour behind the falls (where I got some GREAT pictures, by the way), we argued about whether or not I needed to buy more film. We argued about where to eat, what to see next and everything else. The most interesting thing is that normally in our relationship, despite the problems that we were having, we didn’t argue. So it was strange that we were doing nothing but that. Maybe we needed to get away from home and our son to feel relaxed enough or something. Who knows?

The piece de la resistance came on the way back. We ended up leaving early than I had initially planned because we just wanted the weekend to be over. As we were leaving Canada, I said that we should stop at the duty-free shop to change our money so we could get the best return rate. For some reason, he didn’t want to do that and wanted to stay on the road. Since I was driving, we stopped. He went inside to take care of the money while I waited in the car. I waited….and waited……AND WAITED. After about 30 minutes, I began to think that maybe something was wrong so I went inside. I looked all around but did not see him. I searched the entire store but could nto find him. I even had someone check the men’s bathroom, in case he had gotten sick. He was nowhere to be found. I went back to the car and tried to figure out what to do. I called his mother in Ohio to see if she had heard anything and she hadn’t. Not wanting to alarm her, I said that we had just become separated but that I knew where to meet him. I didn’t. I decided to drive around the building and see if I could see him anywhere. On my 3rd trip around, I noticed him coming from the hotel next door. I drove over there and he got in the car. He gave me some lame story about needing to use the bathroom and not wanting to use the one in the store because it wasn’t that clean so he walked over to the hotel. However, he couldn’t explain why he went out the back door instead of the front or why he didn’t stop at the car to say what he was doing. I made the comment that he might have gotten left behind (implying that you should always stick with whoever is driving). That sparked another argument and then silence.

We continued in silence into Pennsylvania. Just outside of Erie, he stated that he needed to go to the bathroom and asked me to pull off at the exit. When I stopped at the stop sign at the end of the exit ramp, he jumped out of the car and said that he was going to catch the bus home instead. We were in the middle of no where, not near any town that I could see. He started walking away. I sat stunned for a few minutes and then began to follow him, coaxing him to get back into the car. My concern was for his safety and for his son who was only 12 at the time and wouldn’t understand what his father was doing. I didn’t understand what he was doing! He refused to get in the car and walked to gas station, where he called for a cab. I sat there in the car till it arrived and he got in and left. I drove the rest of the way to Ohio by myself. It was at that point that I decided that the relationship was too dramatic and required way more emotional energy than I had to give. We didn’t talk for about 2 weeks afterward and ultimately divorced about 6 months later. It was definitely a trip that I will never forget!

Posted By Jan on February 7, 2008, 1:24 PM

The Honeymoon July 2002

My wife and I had just married and spent the night in town. The next day we opened our wedding presents said goodbye to our friends and families and boarded a plane bound for San Diego(through Utah). Before we even got to our flight we had to go through security. At this time security was tight and our carry on were subjected to personal inspections by security. My wife had packed all the junk food and treats into my bag for the duration of the honeymoon. I happen to live life a little larger than others (6’3" and 330lbs). MY personal inspector was a very small man who wasn't over 5' and English was not his first language. As he opened my bag and started rifling through the contents he looks up at me and says; "Youa biga boy, you got a lot of junk food, youa biga boy" and then proceeds to pat my belly. I laughed it off and secretly thought about stuffing him into a carryon luggage compartment. The flights went smoothly, well, as smoothly as they can go when you're my size, and we arrived in San Diego after that evening. My wife was not yet 25 and I was the one to do all the driving during the honeymoon. Unbeknownst to me I was uncomfortable driving in unfamiliar cities and had grown up in a relaxed Midwestern city with a population around 45,000. We finally get to the rental car agency, after dark, which has a map to the hotel that looks like it was drawn by a 1st grader. I get lost in about 5 minutes on the highway. Being a man and not as humble as I am now refused to even think about asking for directions. After I realize we're halfway to Tijuana my wife turns to me and politely asks me if I need to stop for directions. I promptly bite her head off because; I am lost, it's dark, the people driving around me are lunatics, and I'm still thinking about the "Youa biga boy" guy.

I finally find a road that will get us to Shelter Island and we arrive 2 hours after we had left the rental car agency. By the way the rental car agency was about 10 miles from the hotel.

After we get to our room my wife promptly sits on the bed and starts crying. Since I've only been married for about 30 hours and we never lived together I have no clue what the problem is. She starts telling me that she has made a huge mistake in marrying me and she didn't know why I had yelled at her and she was crying because she had to spend the rest of her life with me.

Well, I felt like a jackass.

We worked through what had happened throughout the day. At the end of the conversation I apologized profusely, we made up, and ordered pizza.
I now ask for directions and she drives most places because she has some sort of internal compass and never seems to get lost.

Posted By Jeff on February 9, 2008, 3:05 AM

My soon to be ex and I went to Santa Fe for the Christmas holiday. I planned the entire trip with lodging at a romantic inn (hoping to rekindle some type of fire in our relationship). First off-the flight was horrible with lots of screaming children-rushed travelers etc. That was my fault-NO ONE in their right mind travels on Christmas Day, he said. We get to the hotel, settle in and go to the lunch buffet. He doesn't like 'food like that' NO ONE in their right mind eats at a hotel. We start to walk the streets and Starbucks is closed!!!! We kept walking and finally I saw a man with coffee and after the urge to mug him had passed I asked where he found coffee and he directed me to a wonderful little shop off the street. You guessed it hubby hated it. The room had a double bed-I had to sleep on the floor because he needs to spread out. He also brought 4 pieces of luggage (I took one) so I have to share the floor with all his stuff. He gets up constantly for food, water, potty, to look out the window-who knows. Every morning I jumped up off the floor, made a mad dash to the shower so I could get out of the room. Some days I was so tired I slept in the lobby-the hotel was full or I would have taken another room. Coming back home after the 11 most miserable days of my life he agrees to have us bumped to another flight to get freebies. When I heard that I went to the ticket agent-calmly laid out my black AMX and told her I would be more than happy to buy the plane but I was going on that flight to Texas. I left him sitting there in the airport while I settled in to first class seat and slept ALL the way home.....

Posted By Mare on February 10, 2008, 9:40 PM

My husband and I drove from Milwaukee to Boston a few years ago with a few days stop in Cooperstown, NY. He's a big baseball fan, we went to games in Pittsburg, Cleveland and Boston and went to the hall of fame. The trip was really all about him, but I knew that going in to it. I managed to negotiate a day of historical sightseeing in Boston. Driving home, we went a little out of the way so I could see Niagra Falls for the first time. We get to Buffalo and have no idea where we're going. I was driving, he hates to navigate but hates driving somewhere he doesn't know even more. So I'm left trying to navigate and drive at the same time. By the time we finally parked the car at the Falls we were ready to kill each other, weren't speaking much except angry, monosylabic words. We walked over to the Falls and he made some comment about my wanting to see a trickle of a falls being a waste of our time (It was August). I had to actually warn him not to stand close to the edge or I may push him over. Major screaming match in the car and once we got across the Canadian border it was a pretty tense drive to Detroit. Nothing tests a marriage like a roadtrip. We're still together, but now I plan the vacations.

Posted By Sara on February 11, 2008, 1:47 AM

A few years ago, my boyfriend and I went to Paris for my birthday after finding amazingly cheap flights. I did research and found a great flat rental in the heart of Paris that was an amazing price. It was next to a picturesque pedestrian market street. It was suppose to be a beautiful, romantic birthday trip. We even took French classes together before going, as this was his first internaitonal trip and my first to Paris.

When we arrived, he was grumpy mainly because of jet lag. The next day, I waited around until nearly noon for him to get up and going, after which he was not much fun as I practically had to drag him around. The next day was very similar. The third day, I told him I would wait an hour or so for him to get ready before I head out. He never got up...so this continued all week. I tried to include him at his leisure in things, sacrificing things I wanted to do. Eventually on my birthday, I was out in Paris alone while he sat in the flat. Instead of going to a restaurant that I wanted to try, I acquiesced and went to a place that he wanted because it was an American restaurant. I ended up paying for my own birthday dinner, getting my own birthday cake that he complained about, and received only a card saying nothing he could get me could compare to being in Paris (a trip I paid for!).

So, with all the bitterness now out of me haha, at that point I realized that I was sacrificing too much happiness and that his selfishness could not be put aside even for a dream birthday. Shortly after returning, I ended our relationship. I still hold fond memories of being in Paris and all it wonders, despite the horrendous company.

Posted By Jason on February 18, 2008, 7:41 PM